What happens in episode six, ‘The Turd Man’?
WARNING: Major spoilers for season one, episode six ahead.
In a flashback to St Patrick’s Day 10 years before, a drunken Catherine heads home with Séamus, before falling asleep in the car. While he’s driving her home, alien lights return and Séamus falls into a trance, letting go of the steering wheel and crashing the car. At the same time, Shelly’s dad, Pubba, is beamed down from the ship and into the middle of the road.
Back in Los Angeles, Wendy is mocked by her team for how disappointing I AM CELT turned out, but nevertheless they are pushing forward with the premiere in Ireland the following week.
In the time she’s been gone, Séamus is now living with Barry Battles, having moved out of the family home. While his suspension as a doctor has been lifted, his divorce has been made official. Séamus goes to visit Catherine and the pair argue in front of Joanne. Matt’s presence makes the encounter even more awkward.
Wendy returns to Ireland with Jules still working as her assistant. She admits the show is not what she wanted it to be.
As Séamus starts working back at the clinic, he asks Sonny if he can train him up, but Sonny comes clean and tells him he can’t go back to medical school. He was caught cheating on an exam because he couldn’t keep up, and that’s the real reason why he returned home.
As the village excitedly gets ready for the premiere, Wendy checks in with Shelly, asking about her dad, and Shelly notes it's been almost 10 years since the loss of her mother. As showbiz journalists arrive to interview Wendy, she is finding it hard to keep a positive spin on things.
Shelly is left in a panic when she returns to the pub to find her father standing on the roof playing the flute in his pyjamas. When he gets down, a panicked Shelly asks what happened, and he admits he was waiting for the aliens who abducted him months after his wife’s death. She asks him why he hadn’t said anything before, and he was worried no one would believe him. Shelly supports and believes him but is sad he’s been locked in his room trying to find a way to go back.
Catherine tries to have sex with Matt in the supply closet at school but he turns her down, unhappy that she seems unwilling to have a normal, non-secretive relationship. As he talks about sleeping with her, she gags, with the excitement now gone.
At the premiere, Wendy is plagued with memories of her abduction and overwhelmed by the amount of questions she’s getting. Slipping outside for a cigarette, she runs into Séamus and apologises for his divorce. He says it’s OK and blames the aliens. He says he’s tried to be a better man than when he lied and left her that night.
They’re interrupted by Pubba, who talks about the alpaca on the spaceship, and shows them the rock he took from Betty Battle’s purse. Unable to resist checking it out, Wendy leaves Jules in charge of the premiere and the trio head off together.
At the pub, Séamus and Wendy are shown his findings, including spots where birds have dropped, abductions were made, or any other bizarre findings. Séamus realises these moments are forming a spiral pattern around his house, and he fears something is going to happen there imminently. He and Wendy rush off to warn his family.
Meanwhile, at the premiere, the screening starts. The show goes down unexpectedly well, although only because it is unintentionally hilarious. Big Jim, attending the premiere in full costume, is left saddened that his big dramatic debut has devolved into a comedy. He leaves the premiere to try and find Wendy.
At the pub, Sonny admits he has feelings for Shelly, and she tells him she already knows. He tells her she’s the real reason he’s never left Drumbán. She tells him he needs to move on and find someone more age appropriate or wait a decade until she eventually gives in and they get married. He takes that as a hopeful sign.
When Big Jim arrives looking for Wendy, Sonny shares she’s gone to Séamus’s house. Shelly then rushes off with him to track down her dad.
At the house, Catherine refuses to listen to the group to get out of the house, believing they’d all gone mad. But then the spaceship arrives, and she can’t deny it anymore – especially when the ship tries to beam her up. Séamus grabs hold of her legs to stop her being taken up, while Pubba continues to play his tin whistle to try and get them to pick him instead. Big Jim and Shelly arrive and uysing Jim’s brawn they successfully keep Catherine on Earth, although they take her wheelchair
In the commotion, a dog-sized alien creature looking suspiciously like the Dobhar-chú from I AM CELT drops onto the ground and scurries off into the woods. The ship leaves and the group rush inside.
As Big Jim and Catherine try to digest what they’ve seen, Catherine realises what happened on the night of the accident. She asks Séamus for his forgiveness and he lets her have it.
They spot the alien in the wood, and Big Jim recognises it as the Dobhar-chú. Séamus tries to scare it off by throwing a stick at it, but it snatches the stick from the air and rushed at the group. Wendy brains it with Séamus’s trombone, but they realise too late it was just trying to play fetch. Séamus gives it mouth-to-mouth to try and revive it, but it’s all for naught and the alien appears to die.
After the successful premiere of I AM CELT, the locals celebrate by heading down the pub, where Sonny has taken over with Shelly indisposed. Joanne, who is at the event, joins a runner in snorting cocaine in the toilets.
Debating what to do next, the group argue over sharing the alien with the world or throwing it into the lake and never mentioning it again. Taking a vote, the lake wins by a small majority, and Séamus and Wendy are left in charge of disposing of the body. As they row their boat into the lake, Séamus tries to kiss Wendy after throwing the alien overboard, as the rest of the group – including Catherine – watch on. The pair laugh, but let it go.
As the wrap party winds down, the aliens drop Catherine’s wheelchair on the road.
In the weeks that follow, Shelly officially becomes the owner of the pub, and Wendy decides to stick around. Just when they think they can move on with their lives, a final look into the water sees the tail of the alien start to move – confirming the creature is still alive.